Christian Jokes

Life can feel heavy sometimes, but humor has a way of lifting our spirits. And what better way to combine laughter and light than with a collection of Christian jokes? Whether you’re looking for funny puns to share at Bible study, clean jokes for kids, or just something to brighten your day, this list will have you chuckling in no time. From witty wordplay to pun-filled one-liners, these jokes are short, wholesome, and easy to share with friends and family. Let’s dive in and enjoy some godly giggles!

Funny Bible Jokes

Why did Noah have to punish the chickens? They were using fowl language.
Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham—he knew a Lot.
What kind of car would the disciples drive today? A Honda, because they were all in one Accord.
Why did Samson get along with no one? He had too many bad hair days.
What’s Jonah’s favorite musical instrument? The bass drum.
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah—he floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.
Why did Moses’ staff get a promotion? Because it had the power to lead.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.
Who was the best comedian in the Bible? Samson—he brought the house down.
Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? He just knew something fishy was going on.
What was Adam and Eve’s favorite math subject? Multiplication.
Who is the most business-savvy woman in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter—she pulled a little profit from the water.
Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him? The thought had never entered his head before.
Why did the angel join the choir? Because he had a halo-t of talent.
What’s Eve’s favorite holiday? Christmas—it’s all about the first “No-el.”

Clean Christian Jokes for Kids

Why did Noah bring pencils on the ark? Because animals are drawn to them.
What kind of lights did Noah use? Floodlights.
Why did the whale cross the road? To get to the other tide.
Why was the computer cold in the ark? It left its Windows open.
How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
Why was Adam a famous runner? He was first in the human race.
What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? Ruth-less.
Why did Jesus eat fish? Because it was fin-tastic.
Why do birds fly south for winter? Because it’s too far to walk—ask the dove.
Why did the sheep go to church? To hear the pastor.
What did Jonah say when the whale spit him out? “I’m over it.”
Why couldn’t Noah play cards on the ark? Because he was standing on the deck.
What’s a missionary’s favorite car? A convertible—good for spreading the word.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because there’s always a cast in the Bible.
Why did the baker go to church? Because he kneaded prayer.

Christian Dad Jokes

Why did Cain hate math? He couldn’t Abel it.
How do pastors like their steaks? Holy cow!
Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded? People are dying to get in.
Why did Moses cross the Red Sea? To get to the other side.
What did the disciple say at the last supper when the bread ran out? “This is crumby.”
Why did the donkey go to school? To be a stable student.
What do you call an apostle who loves coffee? Brew-Paul.
Why did the priest buy pencils? To draw closer to God.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite hymn? “I Will Cling to the Old Rugged Bones.”
Why do melons have weddings in church? Because they cantaloupe.
Why did the choir always stay together? They had strong organ-ization.
Why did Peter run everywhere? Because he was the rock and roll.
What’s God’s favorite exercise? Cross-fit.
Why do angels use cell phones? For heavenly connections.
Why don’t churches ever run out of pencils? They always have a good point.

Christian Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good joke when you hear one!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jesus. Jesus who? Jesus loves you!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and God does too!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke to the heavens and pray.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Amos. Amos who? A mosquito bit me!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to say a prayer?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ruth. Ruth who? Ruth you believe Jesus saves?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jonah. Jonah who? Jonah tell me your secrets?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hal. Hal who? Hallelujah!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Samson. Samson who? Samson-taneous prayer!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Abraham. Abraham who? Abraham-believable grace.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eve. Eve who? Eve-ryone’s welcome at church.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Job. Job who? Job well done!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Isaiah. Isaiah who? Isaiah little prayer every day.

Jesus Jokes

Why can’t you play cards with Jesus? He always rises with the deck.
What did Jesus say at the baseball game? “Jesus saves, but Moses steals.”
Why did Jesus use parables? Because stories stick better than scrolls.
What kind of phone does Jesus use? A prayer-phone.
Why did Jesus teach on mountains? Because the Wi-Fi connection was divine.
What’s Jesus’ favorite workout? Cross-training.
Why did Jesus like bread? Because it was on a roll.
What was Jesus’ favorite fish? Holy mackerel.
Why didn’t Jesus play hide and seek? Because he always found himself.
What’s Jesus’ favorite type of rice? Sacri-rice.
Why did Jesus wear sandals? For sole salvation.
Why did Jesus eat olives? Because he lived in the garden.
What’s Jesus’ favorite kind of music? Gospel rock.
Why did Jesus love gardening? He had a talent for raising things.
Why did Jesus use boats? He liked to make waves.

Church Jokes

Why don’t churches ever fall apart? They have strong faith foundations.
Why did the organist break up with the piano? Too many key issues.
What’s the most musical part of church? The organ-ization.
Why did the pastor bring a ladder? To reach new heights of faith.
Why are sermons like baseball? They always hit home.
Why did the pews always stay together? They were bench-mates.
Why don’t church bells ever gossip? They keep things toll-free.
Why did the church choir sound so heavenly? They had angel-ic voices.
Why did the usher carry an umbrella? In case of a blessing shower.
Why don’t churches need electricians? They’re full of power already.
Why did the stained glass windows love the light? They felt transparent.
Why was the church always so clean? It had spotless faith.
Why did the collection plate smile? It had change inside.
Why did the preacher eat lunch early? He wanted a little sermon on the side.
Why do churches have so many doors? Because salvation is open to all.

Easter Jokes

Why did the Easter egg hide? He was a little chicken.
What’s the Easter bunny’s favorite kind of music? Hip-hop.
Why was the Easter basket so confident? It was egg-ceptional.
Why did the Easter egg go to school? To get egg-ucated.
How does the Easter bunny stay fit? Egg-ercise.
Why was the Easter egg so good at jokes? It always cracked people up.
Why did the Easter chick get a job? To make some peep money.
Why was Easter so uplifting? Because it was resurrection day!
Why was the Easter bunny a good listener? He had big ears.
Why was the Easter egg scared? Because it might get scrambled.
What do you call an Easter egg who tells jokes? A pun-dit.
Why was Easter Sunday so bright? Because the Son rose.
Why do bunnies love church? They like to hop in.
What kind of stories do Easter eggs like? Egg-citing ones.
Why did the basket get a promotion? It carried a lot of weight.

Heaven Jokes

Why was the computer allowed into Heaven? It had a clean drive.
Why don’t angels ever get lost? They always follow God’s GPS—God’s Perfect System.
Why was Heaven so calm? No cloud of doubt.
Why don’t angels ever get sick? They have heavenly immune systems.
What kind of shoes do angels wear? Heavenly heels.
Why was Heaven never dark? God always let there be light.
Why don’t angels need GPS? They already have good directions.
Why was Heaven so spacious? It had plenty of room for all souls.
Why did the angel bring a pencil? To draw near to God.
Why did the harp go to Heaven? It played heavenly music.
Why do angels love math? They’re good with numbers.
Why do angels always sing? Because they’re on a higher note.
Why did the saint bring a ladder to Heaven? To climb the stairway to paradise.
Why do angels make good friends? They’re simply cherub-ly.
Why is Heaven the best place for a joke? Because it’s always uplifting.

Conclusion

And there you have it—over 120 Christian jokes to make you smile, laugh, and maybe even share with your Sunday school, friends, or family. Humor is a gift, and when combined with faith, it’s a reminder that joy and laughter are divine blessings too. Whether you came here for a giggle or a full-blown laugh session, I hope these puns brighten your day.